I'm less than 48 hours from takeoff, and the gravity of what I'm doing has finally hit me. And it hit like a baseball smashes through a window, shattering my composure. I really thought that this time would be easier than the other moves since I had such an advanced warning for once, but there's always this strange feeling of "Whoohoo-let's-gooo!!!/OH-CRAP-what-am-I-doing?!?!" For anyone who has traveled, or maybe even made a big change, you may understand my new favorite word: Resfeber (Swedish).
1. Resfeber (n.): the restless race of the traveler’s heart before the journey begins, when anxiety and anticipation are tangled together.
Much like Fernweh (German; an ache for distant places, or a homesickness for foreign lands), there is no word that means the same thing in English. Until now, I have always struggled to describe this very complex and confusing feeling to others because it doesn't really make sense. How can you be stuck between ready to go and not ready to leave? I'm beyond excited for many parts of this move, like meeting a new family, changing our LDR to one living together, exploring a new country (or countries), and learning as much as I can along the way. While most of me is bursting at the seams with anticipation and overwhelmed with excitement, there's a mix of nerves....It's been while since I've been thrust so far out of a comfort zone to a whole new country! I'm dreading saying goodbye to loved ones, but I'm full of wonder of new places and people, and there's some strange inner peace I feel when I'm moving somewhere. Calmness and Panic? Excitement and Dread? Nervous and Confident? Sheesh! I have more mental characters than the prepubescent teenage girl from the "Inside Out" movie!
This is when I realize how crazy I am! Haha! So many people tell me they could never be as "brave" as me or "take risks" like me....but the truth is, I don't always feel so brave like you may think. And no matter how much you mentally prepare for what you know is inevitably part of the process, it doesn't make taking the step any less scary. This is when you call upon that intestinal fortitude, trust in the process, pull up your big girl panties, and learn to laugh it off like the half insane person you really are. Haha! See, I'm already practicing! ;)
Really, despite all this mess, in my heart of hearts, I know that this is going to be an adventure of a lifetime, and I'm ready to get it started! Bring it on!
1. Resfeber (n.): the restless race of the traveler’s heart before the journey begins, when anxiety and anticipation are tangled together.
Much like Fernweh (German; an ache for distant places, or a homesickness for foreign lands), there is no word that means the same thing in English. Until now, I have always struggled to describe this very complex and confusing feeling to others because it doesn't really make sense. How can you be stuck between ready to go and not ready to leave? I'm beyond excited for many parts of this move, like meeting a new family, changing our LDR to one living together, exploring a new country (or countries), and learning as much as I can along the way. While most of me is bursting at the seams with anticipation and overwhelmed with excitement, there's a mix of nerves....It's been while since I've been thrust so far out of a comfort zone to a whole new country! I'm dreading saying goodbye to loved ones, but I'm full of wonder of new places and people, and there's some strange inner peace I feel when I'm moving somewhere. Calmness and Panic? Excitement and Dread? Nervous and Confident? Sheesh! I have more mental characters than the prepubescent teenage girl from the "Inside Out" movie!
This is when I realize how crazy I am! Haha! So many people tell me they could never be as "brave" as me or "take risks" like me....but the truth is, I don't always feel so brave like you may think. And no matter how much you mentally prepare for what you know is inevitably part of the process, it doesn't make taking the step any less scary. This is when you call upon that intestinal fortitude, trust in the process, pull up your big girl panties, and learn to laugh it off like the half insane person you really are. Haha! See, I'm already practicing! ;)
Really, despite all this mess, in my heart of hearts, I know that this is going to be an adventure of a lifetime, and I'm ready to get it started! Bring it on!
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